“Decor” is a Subjective Word

I’m reasonably convinced the term “knick knack” is actually “ugly thing you display on your shelf” in another language. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that I work in a thrift store, so I get to see the things people throw out to make room for… well, more ugly things?

I question how on earth some of these things even made it to a store in the first place, to wait for some unsuspecting person with bad taste (or perhaps just poor judgement?) to purchase. Sometimes they’re just really ugly, sometimes they’re terrifically tacky – sometimes they look like they were forged in the seventh layer of hell, and sent here to steal souls.

I decided that it was time for me to start taking pictures of some of these *ahem* memorable figurines and other decor items, and sharing them with the world. After all, that’s what the internet is for, no?

IMG_20150226_154356

Let’s start with this questionable Easter bunny. I have no idea why he has a spring loaded head, or looks like he’s been on a week-long crack binge, but he looks about as kid friendly as liquor-filled chocolate eggs.

IMG_20150226_154339

Okay, I love gnomes, even though they fall under the “what the HELL is that on your front lawn?” category. I will admit to that – however, what on EARTH does an easter egg have to do with gnomes? Maybe they should make some with flamingos too.

IMG_20150226_154427

Perhaps it’s my inner adolescent speaking, but I look at this and the first thing I notice is that Ms. Bunny has boobs. Also, she really seems to have a binge eating problem. Actually, this bunny kind of looks like Peg Bundy from Married with Children… hmmm…

IMG_20150226_154603

This picture does NOT do this doll justice. The eyes were a lot more yellow than the picture lets on – and that dead gaze, makes my skin crawl a little. I love creepy things, but I do not love this doll.

IMG_20150226_154452

We’ve all seen these kind of figurines, they were once really popular. However, never have I seen not one, but TWO children eating invisible sandwiches. Were both created by the same artist, who enjoyed depicting famished children, or was craving a sandwich when he sculpted these? I guess we’ll never know.

IMG_20150226_154644

This is very obviously a cat. A poorly rendered, asymmetrical cat. I am not sure it was on purpose though, and this wasn’t a homemade figurine. Maybe whomever designed this has never actually seen a cat before?

1468510_10152174419716411_153209620_n

Not really a figurine or knick knack, but he deserves an honorable mention simply because he looks stoned out of his gourd – and he also seems to have a bad case of pink eye… and he was also found at a thrift store.

IMG_20150226_154621

This poor lady seems to have gotten her face caught in a vice…but the maker of this figurine seemed to feel she should be displayed in a wee plastic box so she doesn’t get ruined – I think the ruining happened before she was packaged.

IMG_20150226_154719

Fairy figurines tend to have delicate features. This one seems to have gotten a raw deal.

IMG_20150226_154700

Remus and Romulus are subject to many a statue and figurine. I think this artist got carried away with the size of the wolf’s teats – and now they’re being booby-bombed.

IMG_20150226_154742

This elephant here, he has seen some shit.

IMG_20150226_154759

This figurine tells a story. The squirrel seems to have recruited Santa to pull off an acorn heist, and the authorities have just caught them – santa is dropping nuts everywhere and appears to be giving the squirrel a kick. Oh, Santa. You should choose your friends better.

308972_10151140026356411_177145008_n

…and then there is this. I found this about 2 years ago in the thrift store I actually ended up working at. It had human feet and this creepy partially human face. It seems to tell a story of a child in mid-transformation to a bear – and to top it off, its eyes were red and shiny as if it had been crying. It’s the perfect teddy to give your child nightmares.

Of course, this is only a handful of chachkies. These pictures were mostly taken during one wander through the knick knacks and collectibles area of the store, and some of the things I hoped to get pictures of were already gone. The lesson here? One man’s nightmare is another man’s treasure. I wonder who bought that drunken looking Santa ranting and waving his finger over the mailbox?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s