It Was too Soon.

One of the hardest realities of being human is losing other people.

We go through life day to day, not really focused on the “what if”, because well, let’s face it – we don’t fixate on the “death” part of life, and that is the healthiest way to be. The flipside of that coin is that when someone suddenly leaves us,  we’re left in shock, and sometimes it just doesn’t feel real.

This week, my father-in-law passed away. It all happened so suddenly, that his children had no chance to even prepare themselves. We were all hopeful that despite his heart having stopped multiple times, and the grim EEG readings, that he would recover. He didn’t, and now we’re all left with an empty place in our hearts. My heart goes out to my boyfriend and his siblings, because I know how I personally feel – and they’ve just lost their daddy. I remember how that felt, and I can’t say there isn’t a day goes by that I still don’t miss him…and now I also miss the dad I had only just come to know as well. They’ve already gone through the loss of their mother and three grandparents as well, so I can’t even imagine how deep this cuts.

I will say this, though. Sam lives on through his three children. They have his humour, his wit and his extra large heart. They have his stories and his memories, and he helped form who they are today – and they truly understand what it means to be a family. I feel lucky to have been accepted into this group of people, I only feel regret to not have known their mother and to have only had a little time with Sam. Those two people shaped the man I plan to live out the rest of my days with.

Big guy, if you can hear me – thanks for being part of my life for the time you were here. I wish I could have known you better. I’ll miss our chats and miss your attempts to better explain football to me, but what I miss the most is the sound of your voice and your laughter. It is still inconceivable to me that you are gone.

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