The last week has been a blur. Life is always changing, but sometimes you’re given no chance to ready yourself for it.
Dad is gone, and now we prepare for the sale of his house. It’s easier said than done, because my boyfriend still lives there and now has to accept that the pictures have to come down from the walls, and the rooms need to be emptied. All traces of his dad’s life there have to be scrubbed away, one by one. If it’s this hard for me, it is unfathomable how difficult this is for him. Everywhere I look, I see him. He’s in the framed pictures, in the sounds of the water cooler, embedded in his spot on the sofa that he can’t ever sit on again. I find it difficult sitting still for long periods in the house and feel my time there would be better served cleaning and packing, but he just isn’t ready yet.
So what comes next? We pack my place to ready for a move, and just try and push to the next sunrise. The painful fact is that no matter how sad you feel, the world keeps on with or without you. Today, I wish I could make it stand still for just a while.
Take a deep breath, Lisa. Tomorrow’s tomorrows will be better. I promise.