It’s oh so quiet, except…

Sitting on the front porch of the house we rent an apartment in, appreciating the quiet of the night air.

For the first time since we set up our little retreat out here, I hear a bat! I know bats strike terror into the hearts of a lot of folks, but I love the little winged fluff balls. Actually I plan to get multiple bats on my chest sometime in the near future. Tattoos, that is, not the real thing. Though, it would be pretty entertaining to walk into work with a bunch of actual bats clinging to my chest.

I've been told I'm twisted.
Not true.

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Bacon, it’s the New Bread.

I used to sugar coat things more, to avoid unnecessary confrontations or arguments. I also used to allow myself to be walked on and spoken to as if I was less than human. I’ve changed, and I think for the better. I don’t go out of my way to be malicious or anything like that, but you best believe if you spew bullshit at me, I’m going to at the very least question it. 

Social media has give voice to every misguided, stupid or misinformed Joe on the planet, and now they share this information on Facebook, twitter, etc – wherever anyone will listen. When misinformation is pointed out, however, it often causes a negative reaction from that person. Often I just ignore it and move on to save the breath but sometimes it’s just not possible. 

Today’s “debate” was caused by my statement that 7-8 slices of bacon was not a suitable healthy replacement for bread on a sandwich. Erm, what’s better, I was told the best way to lose weight was to cut carbs because they’re “fake energy” and eat fat, this was the argument used to say that eating half a pack of bacon is fine because it’s *ahem* in moderation. Again. HALF A PACK. 

I also must remember that this person (a male) once complained his ovaries were hurting to my boyfriend and their other friend… and not as a joke. 

*crickets*

Why, Yes I Am.

I’m pretty fortunate, the coffee shop I work at has plenty of decent customers. I don’t deal with a lot in the way of nasty people – occasionally though, they do come out of the woodwork.

Today was one of those days apparently. A customer dumped his trash in the garbage can before the speaker in our drive thru, then hastily sped through and to the window, blowing past the speaker. The fact he did this, then pulled up to the window demanding we take his order after laughing at his own stupidity wasn’t quite bad enough I guess. While he was pulling up to the window I had already taken an order from some wonderful soul who understands how drive thrus work – then my headset started to beep again. I explained to the guy that I couldn’t just take his order at the window because a line had formed behind him, and it wasn’t fair to them to have to wait. He first laughed like he didn’t believe I was saying “no” to him, then he drove away fast, shouting “WHAT A FUCKING BITCH!” I was annoyed, however I replied without missing a beat “Why, yes I am!”

Two orders after that, as it turns out, was him. His attitude at the window was completely changed, however, he even gave me a sorry not sorry apology. I explained again to which I got more complaining and “I just…”

Hey, folks? Not a good idea to insult people making your food/drinks.

Trains, Plebes and Automobiles.

Last night, my boyfriend and I watched a perfect example of humanity’s reasoning abilities.

We were headed for an access to take us to a different area of town (ours is split by an escarpment), and a train was crossing it. Not the first time it’s happened, getting used to it actually because it’s near our house. 
There was a fairly long line of cars waiting, that’s fine. It would take us longer to circle around to the next access than it took to sit there. I think we were waiting maybe eight or ten minutes? Well, we were the second last car (truth be told the last guy didn’t fit, and was halfway into the turning line and right against our bumper). 

We waited patiently as we watched a circus of shit drivers unfold in front of us. As it reached about the eight minute mark, most of the people in front of us decided it would be a good time to pull a u-turn and leave. It involved – for some of them – driving up on curbs, cutting off traffic that was coming from the last side street from the train tracks, and the guy directly in front of us just got out of his car and went for a walk toward the train, playing with his phone. 

Then the train finished. 

Guy with phone doesn’t even realize that the train has finished and he panics, running back for his car. Traffic has already started coming the other way, and he’s locked his doors so is struggling getting it open and getting safely into the car. Then, as he drove away he opened his door again and closed it, swerving all over the road.

If all of these people had waited the other two minutes it would have been simple. After waiting eight minutes, two is nothing, and it would take you at least another eight to make your way to the next access. People, why you so dumb? 

The Customer is Always…Right?

Each day I am treated, via the day job gig, to both the best and worst of humanity. Customer service is one of those areas where you see both sides almost daily. Anyone who’s worked a job like this *ahem* in fact – MOST – people can attest to what I’m saying.

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January is a lean month at my store, so staff is also trimmed down. Unfortunately, not all customers speak the language of reality. Today, one such customer chastised me for being the only person working in that drive thru (we have two), not grasping that I have absolutely no say over this. I should note, she was around 70, had her face stretched like a drum, and was wearing enough luminizer she looked like she was trying to pick up the Tin Man… so, source considered. It’s not like I can really say much back in that situation either, other than to point out that I was the only one working over there, to which she responded that I should tell customers – before they enter the drive thru – that I’m the only one in there… okayyy. Do they put brain damaging chemicals in that luminizer crap?

On the flipside – not even an hour after that, a customer told me quite earnestly to keep up the good work, that I was doing great. Weird how the universe sends out balancing weights against the ones that can knock us out of whack. Thanks, guy, whoever you are, for making this coffee wench’s day just a little better.

Also, next time you find yourself getting frustrated by speed of service, take into account whether there are actually enough people behind that counter to do the job you expect – one more staff member sometimes makes all the difference in the world.