I’m beginning to feel like I’m finally getting somewhere with this “art” thing.  I am learning a lot with the projects I’ve been working on, and I am almost feeling brave enough to step up my game and leave the dolls behind and just sculpt.  Using dolls as a base to make something is cool, but I’m already feeling the limits using an existing shape to work with.  I have three more to finish, and then I get to see if I am really capable of building from the ground up.

I’m realizing that I also need to focus more on my writing, my book is nearly at the halfway point so I can’t just abandon it.  At the same time, music is calling.  I need to make time to schedule all this stuff in to really make myself happy, all in the hours outside of a day job.  Lately I feel like my brain is going to explode because in the hours I’m doing the day job, all I think about is going home and making things, then I get home and I have to push myself to get things done because I’m mentally exhausted from work. I guess that’s more motivation to try and build this into less of a part time gig.  For now, it’s off to work as usual, and facing a 1 day weekend.

If only the odds of winning the lottery were higher!



Freedom, Sweet Freedom!

There is something to be said for patience and resilience.  The last year of working until 11:30 has not been a lot of fun, and there was a time it was necessary, but that is not the case now.  My boyfriend got day shift over a month ago, and I’ve been biding my time until shift bid came around.  This time my rank was high enough I got days, and honestly it could not come soon enough.

I am the kind of person who is at their creative best in the evening, and for the last year I’ve spent those hours at a desk doing tech support.  Tuesday, day shift begins, which means that after 6:00 pm, I will be free to do whatever I want.  This means more writing, it means making music again, and it means creating lots of neat stuff.  I have been feeling creatively snuffed out, having my only truly useful hours of the day being before work –

this means if I started on a project I’d have to preemptively stop before I finished what I was doing or risk being late – and with sculpture and things related to it, it’s time sensitive stuff.  Can’t leave something half made, because it will be ruined before I can finish it.  Can’t leave polymer (when applicable) unbaked sitting on a table for 9+ hours.

So now, the journey begins.  I will likely be using WordPress for my store, simply because I am already on here and it’s a bit more practical for a beginner like myself.  It also means I have to start keeping receipts for supplies purchased, I have to open a business account pretty soon, and I will need to start settling on a store design.

Yikes. I’m really doing this.


Coffee is my Motor.


My daily routine lately has been a pretty predictable one.  I get out of bed, shower and get dressed, then I make a pot of coffee.  The goal is to drink as much of it as I can before I leave so that when I arrive at work and have to fire all the thrusters, they work.

I blame the coffee addiction on my days as a coffee wench.  Free coffee?  Don’t mind if I do!  Next thing you know, you’re hooked and without it you’re a zombie, stumbling through the world, not even ambitious enough to want brains.

(Actual footage of me without my coffee.)

Seriously though, I think I’ve developed some major caffeine tolerance, because I drink lots before work and sometimes, that is my exact shuffle to the bus stop.  Just imagine him in a dress and denim jacket covered in patches.

I’m up to 11,500+ words now.  They say you need 55,000 approximately for a book – hopefully the ideas keep flowing, because my weird sense of humour finally seems to have a purpose!

Creation vs Depression

The last couple of years has been really tough.  It sort of created this black vortex, where everything I thought of creating just never got made.  Everything from music, to sculptures, to accessories.  Even my writing suffered in a huge way.

They say the best art comes from dark places, but what if it’s so dark you can’t find a small light to lead the way back out?

We lost two family members in 2016, and the tailspin it resulted in is only starting to correct itself the last little while.  Money problems compounded this, as did the fact we were both on evenings at work – and we both prefer days.  Recently, my boyfriend got day shift, and I am able to bid on a new schedule every three months, and my stats are looking good so that means I stand a chance of getting days as well.

For me, this means I will be able to work on art during the hours I am most mentally active.  It means when I come up with an idea I won’t be on break and need to go take calls in 15 minutes so I won’t just forgot to do it or be like “ah fuck it” when I do get home.

The writing has been the first step of getting back to creating again.  I am now driven to get our work space sorted out and all of my supplies organized so I can sit down and work in peace.  I have long put-off projects waiting to be made, and now I can actually imagine them coming to fruition.  I can finally start building up stock for my store as well, and get it online.

Anyway, back to writing!


By the Beard of Loki

It’s true that once your muse strikes, it’s hard to stop writing. Most people though, have to fit in their muse among their other duties. I fit in my writing before and after work, and how much time I get to write for depends on how much time I have to spare.

I’ve reached that point where the characters are now carrying the story and all I have to do is write down the narrative. It’s exciting, and I wish that I could spent all my waking time writing. Is this what it feels like to be a real boy?

Alas, it is off to work I go.

A Novel Idea.

After what has felt like a really long period of being unproductive due to being sick, being tired from work, and just life stuff in general, I’m finally doing it, I’m finally starting a novel again.  I did this back in 2003, but due to my own negligence to back it up by email or some other method besides the computer my ex decided to keep, I lost four chapters and a prologue.  I’ve written short stories and blogged since then but never actually finished getting my sh*t together and made a collective of them, or started a novel again.

I’m also working on a memoir – though, this one will be more for my own mental health than anything else and may never be published.  We shall see, I guess.  For now, getting out my ya-yas through the book and blogging and hoping for the best!

The hardest part about starting with a manuscript is trying to make it all correctly formatted because I’ve not written for so long.  I needed a refresher on random points, like formatting conversation properly, and the correct way to write footnotes (since my piece is fiction, and a lighthearted one at that, I don’t need too much formality in that department but wanted to know if I might get lambasted by those who read it).

Also, remembering to do double spaces after periods?  Ack.  Not something I think about doing usually, in every day writing like emails, etc.  Now I need to force myself to do it in everything so it becomes habit again.  Mostly, just enjoying lazy Sunday and not needing to go anywhere.

Sickly but Inspired

Feeling pretty miserable today, not much up to leaving the bed. However, I'm not a complete waste.

I've had a lot of ideas running around my head for a book in the past couple of years. Aside from wanting to write a memoir of sorts, I also want to get back to writing fiction. The problem was I had so many competing things in my brain, and none was taking shape. Well, it's finally happened. I have to figure out a few things still but it's begun!